By Jordan Matthew Walsh
Hey Steve,
Do you remember the night when you woke me up to tell me that Dad was at
the hospital? You were like six or so and I was four and a half I think.
You woke up in the middle of the night because we’d watched that shitty
movie Arachnophobia (why did mom and dad let us watch that?), and you
dreamt you were covered in spiders. You hated spiders so much (hahaha),
and I did too because I looked up to you so much and you couldn’t do much
wrong in my eyes then. And because of the spiders you went downstairs to
sleep on Mom’s side of the bed, but the bed was empty. You never told me
this, but I guess you must’ve called Mom’s cell phone and she told you
what happened. Then, the part I do know is that you ran up the stairs in
your socks (you slept in socks when we were little do you remember that?)
to tell me what happened and you slipped on the hardwood landing and put a
whole in the plaster wall with your knee.
I woke up scared because I heard the crash and heard you cry out, and I
found you in a heap on the stairs crying so much you couldn’t breathe.
You were crying and bleeding from your knee and I asked you what was
wrong, like a dumbass. But you told me that Dad had a heart attack in the
middle of the night and fell on the floor of the kitchen and probably
would’ve died because he passed out but that Bear woke him up by licking
his face and kept him awake and alive until Mom found him and now they’re
at the hospital and maybe we should be worried but maybe not. You were
scared. You made me scared.
I sat there with you for a while until you were alright enough to go find
Bear and thank him and pet his knotty golden hair until he was as happy as
he deserved to be for saving Dad’s life. But we were still really worried
and didn’t sleep until Mom and Dad came home the next day.
Do you remember that?
I hope you do.
I was thinking about that because Bear died today. I guess I should’ve
told you that in the first place. Sorry bout that. Dad was really upset
and that made me think of that night. I just kept thinking about it all
day, and I’m kind of depressed about it. And Bear dying too.
I guess Mom tried to call you earlier, but you didn’t answer her again and
I thought I’d email you so that you knew that Bear died. I know you hated
him, but I thought you’d want to know.
Do you remember that time that he got into the fireplace because we didn’t
put up the gate and he was covered in soot and he got into your room and
everything in there got covered in soot too. You were so pissed (hahaha).
It was pretty funny how angry you were. I think you wanted to kick him
or something. Maybe that’s why you hated him so much. I guess that must
have been pretty annoying in a way.
Well anyways, Dad went out today after Bear died and took him to the vet
and left him there and went right to the animal shelter to buy another dog
on the same fucking trip (I mean really?). I thought that was kind of
weird. Don’t you think so?
But this dog’s an English Sheep Dog or something like that, which I don’t
like as much as Golden Retrievers, but maybe you’ll like this new dog,
Benny, better than Bear. I wanted to name him Lance like the one guy from
Contra (remember when you beat that on the NES at Grandma’s house in like
15 minutes that was crazy), but Dad really likes B names I guess (hahaha).
Also, Mom was kind of pissed about the new dog. I guess Dad didn’t ask
her before he got it, so they started fighting.
We’ve all been fighting a lot lately. I think you were the one who kind
of kept us from killing each other, but now that you’re at school
everybody’s kind of crazy here. Especially today with Bear.
Dad found him, which is probably for the best since Dad loved that dog so
fucking much and walked him like every day. I guess Bear was outside in
the yard under the trampoline kind of half barking because he couldn’t get
up, and Dad found him just in time to see him die. He cried a lot I think
because his faced looked kind of puffy when I found them outside. Bear’s
tongue was still out. That was weird.
When Mom came home, she was really upset (I thought it was about Bear at
first), but then she started a fight with Dad. She said Dad loved Bear
more than her and he wouldn’t have cried if she died (she’s been really
bitchy lately), and Dad got upset and left us here with Benny. Mom still
hasn’t even looked at Benny yet I don’t think.
Sorry to be such a bummer, but I’m just really depressed about things. I
know its stupid but I keep thinking that Dad’s gonna die because Bear’s
dead. Pretty fucking stupid right? I just keep thinking that. I just
needed to tell someone.
Oh yeah. I forgot about the good news. I got my acceptance letter from
Point Park today, so I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other next year.
Don’t get too excited (ha).
But anyways, we all really miss you man. I really miss you.
I hope school is going well.
Love,
Jimmy
P.S. Maybe call me sometime when you’re free. Maybe we can hang out soon
and play Magic the Gathering or Contra or something like that. Or really
whatever.
Jordan Matthew Walsh lives in Pittsburgh and is not depressed by that
at all. He writes fiction and poetry and plays, or, at least, he tries to
do these things. He also tries to act sometimes, and pretends every once
in a while to play the guitar, but only Cat Stevens covers.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Welcome
Due to a larger volume of fiction submissions to Dog Eat Crow World, and a recent desire to separate my solipsistic posting and the earnest work of others, I've decided to open up an entirely new realm of dogs eating crows. This site will be dedicated exclusively to the work of others, and some writing related tidbits. Mostly, though, the writing related tidbits will stay on the main DECW page.
Right? Right.
So, on with the show.
Right? Right.
So, on with the show.
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